Loved reading this Catriona. Before meeting my partner, I was single for 12 years. I am still so proud of the beautiful life I built for myself, especially toward the end of that chapter. Being single is often seen as a 'before' or a 'not quite complete'. That wasn't my experience at all. It was one of the most fulfilling times of my life, and I still treasure it deeply. 💕
Hey Clare, thank you for sharing this. It's very reassuring to know how much you enjoyed your time being single. I still am amazed at the many unhelpful narratives distilled into me when I was young around being single, and when also dealing with traumatic experiences, it all becomes amplified and further evidence of not having healed or succeeded or overcome in some way. I am so glad to know how much you treasured your singledom - it comes across as through it was the foundation for your new relationship and is part of it in its way.
We are definitely of like minds on this one, this Valentine's Day, dear Catriona. Love is so much bigger than the tiny (glass) shoes women are taught to shove it into! Here's to BIG love of all kinds! Jody x
Thank you for paying a visit Jody, and leaving this comment. I love that. And absolutely - here is to shaking off those glass shoes and walking barefoot if we have to the big love in all its shapes and sizes!
Oh my gosh, what a beautiful, tender piece, Catriona! You expand the meaning of love so beautifully, beyond the consumerism version of it. So many questions that I almost want to ponder on them all and answer them in an essay. :)
Hey Monica - thank you for your response and your kind words. And I love that. Love inspires love. And writing about love inspires more writing about love. Let me know if you ever write an answer to those questions - would love to read it :)
‘Tell me your creative ambitions for love.’ This is such a great question. It really had me pause. I’d like to see love recognised as the ultimate powerful renewable resource that it is. Love is the only thing that multiplies the more you give it away. I’d like people to know that love comes from the inside. With love in your heart, the world before you transforms. It’s not something you earn but something you uncover within. Imagine if every child grew up knowing that.
This is so beautiful Juliet (as with so much you write and share). Imagine if children did grow up with that certainty and richness instilled in them - our society would be quite different. I really like the words you use - like renewable resource - which is an energy term - it gives love a new character and I think shows how we don't really value it for the powerful source that it is. Thank you.
My wish is that the word love could encompass it all without any of the weirdness or categorization that happens. Even though I’m in a loooong marriage, I do not limit my definition of love. You have just given me more ways to appreciate this undefinable feeling. And more to ponder.
That is beautiful Holly. Thank you and I love stories of long marriages like yours - I find it so reassuring to know people stick with each other and work things out in ways that work for them both. I feel our world can make people seem replaceable and exchangeable too often. So glad to know I also offered you a few new ways to appreciate the feeling of love.
Loved reading this Catriona. Before meeting my partner, I was single for 12 years. I am still so proud of the beautiful life I built for myself, especially toward the end of that chapter. Being single is often seen as a 'before' or a 'not quite complete'. That wasn't my experience at all. It was one of the most fulfilling times of my life, and I still treasure it deeply. 💕
Hey Clare, thank you for sharing this. It's very reassuring to know how much you enjoyed your time being single. I still am amazed at the many unhelpful narratives distilled into me when I was young around being single, and when also dealing with traumatic experiences, it all becomes amplified and further evidence of not having healed or succeeded or overcome in some way. I am so glad to know how much you treasured your singledom - it comes across as through it was the foundation for your new relationship and is part of it in its way.
Oh I loved being single. LOVED it. Which isn't to say there weren't hard moments. There were. But on the whole, it was a great chapter. I wrote a whole piece about it for Longreads last year. Here's a link in case you'd like to read: https://longreads.com/2024/02/13/alone-but-not-lonely-a-reading-list-on-being-single/
We are definitely of like minds on this one, this Valentine's Day, dear Catriona. Love is so much bigger than the tiny (glass) shoes women are taught to shove it into! Here's to BIG love of all kinds! Jody x
Thank you for paying a visit Jody, and leaving this comment. I love that. And absolutely - here is to shaking off those glass shoes and walking barefoot if we have to the big love in all its shapes and sizes!
Oh my gosh, what a beautiful, tender piece, Catriona! You expand the meaning of love so beautifully, beyond the consumerism version of it. So many questions that I almost want to ponder on them all and answer them in an essay. :)
Hey Monica - thank you for your response and your kind words. And I love that. Love inspires love. And writing about love inspires more writing about love. Let me know if you ever write an answer to those questions - would love to read it :)
‘Tell me your creative ambitions for love.’ This is such a great question. It really had me pause. I’d like to see love recognised as the ultimate powerful renewable resource that it is. Love is the only thing that multiplies the more you give it away. I’d like people to know that love comes from the inside. With love in your heart, the world before you transforms. It’s not something you earn but something you uncover within. Imagine if every child grew up knowing that.
This is so beautiful Juliet (as with so much you write and share). Imagine if children did grow up with that certainty and richness instilled in them - our society would be quite different. I really like the words you use - like renewable resource - which is an energy term - it gives love a new character and I think shows how we don't really value it for the powerful source that it is. Thank you.
I love where this conversation is leading us.
My wish is that the word love could encompass it all without any of the weirdness or categorization that happens. Even though I’m in a loooong marriage, I do not limit my definition of love. You have just given me more ways to appreciate this undefinable feeling. And more to ponder.
That is beautiful Holly. Thank you and I love stories of long marriages like yours - I find it so reassuring to know people stick with each other and work things out in ways that work for them both. I feel our world can make people seem replaceable and exchangeable too often. So glad to know I also offered you a few new ways to appreciate the feeling of love.